THE PERFECT HIDEAWAY

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 FOR : FEBRUARY 2014                                                                         

 The Perfect Hideaway

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Jyoti always preferred traveling by train. The music and cadence in the rapid movement of the wheels usually lulled her to sleep. Not just that, she was scared of flying. She also got airsick whenever she tried flying. A lot of times she had to travel on her own while others traveled by air. Especially Vikash, who was almost always running late to join them for a vacation. Most of the time Jyoti took Rahul a day or two ahead, when he was a child, waiting for Vikash to catch up with them at the planned destination. This time too Jyoti was traveling alone. The only difference was that Rahul, her sixteen-year-old son, had better things to do joining a trekking group at the foothills of the Himalayas and Vikash was away on an assignment to Russia.

It was not a big deal, Vikash had told her. "I'll be back in no time. Promise. Right before the Pujas. Just let me get the consignment to Russia out of the way and clinch the new deal." Taking a quick look at Jyoti's clouding expression, he added," I know I need a break, darling and I'd also like to spend the Pujas with my family, you know. It's just a matter of  three, four days " Jyoti said nothing.

This was not the first time Vikash was too busy to even take time off from work and spend a few days with the family. Even when the whole world was celebrating Durga Puja, Diwali or Christmas. This was not a new phenomenon either. At least for the last few years, Vikash has been busy enough to the point of neglecting his family. There have been scenes between the two on several occasions with Jyoti complaining and Vikash getting defensive and, lately, offensive. He made it very clear to her that --at the point that he was in his career-- his work came first and he had to prove his worth to the world. Not that Jyoti objected to it. Vikash was ambitious. In fact, she admired him for his drive and determination to get ahead in life. His travels abroad were more than fruitful as he got more and more accounts and contracts for his company which made his climbing the corporate ladder remarkable and the envy of many. And yet Jyoti caught herself feeling pangs of regret at Vikash being so successful when she longed for him to make time for her. At least, sometimes.

This time it was more irking when she had just lost her mother a few months ago and she felt the need for Vikash's company even more than before.

Jyoti didn't look at Vikash when he was getting ready the day he was leaving for Russia. Nor did she ask for any necessities, as was the normal practice every time he went abroad. There was a steely silence about her, which Vikash found a little too difficult to ignore. He showered her with extra hugs and pecks promising her a special trip this Puja. But Jyoti had other plans. She was not going to be there to make it, she told herself. She was not going to wait for him this time to give her another opportunity to disappoint her. She was going to be busy herself. No, it wouldn't be anything nasty or radical; she was just going to disappear and let her family miss her a bit. Just be untraceable for a while to shake them up for taking her too much for granted.

A few days of moping around and self-analysis, Jyoti realised that all her life she had had no chance to be herself. Most of her life was spent waiting around for others to make up their mind. As a young girl she waited for her parents to decide her future. As a woman, her life revolved around what Vikash always wanted to happen.  As a mother, of course, she was expected to shed all her personal goals and evolve as a pillar of strength with a self-effacing patience -- often glorified with the title of Motherhood. She realised that in the past ten years or so Vikash had already made himself scarce by being furiously busy at making a place for himself at his area of work. But ever since Rahul grew up and got busy with his friends and newfound activities, she had been feeling increasingly lonely. It seemed like nobody had any time for her or even realise that she needed company as well. Social work and running a 'basti' school was not enough. It was almost like 'all work and no play' for her. But things have to change. This time she was going to make her presence felt by being absent for a while.

Jyoti called up her cousin Anjana, who was single and 'bindaz'. But Anjana was unable to make any commitments on grounds of being busy arranging for a major workshop for the Buddhist organisaton that she had affiliated herself with some years ago. Even her youngish Chotomashi, more of a friend than a doting aunt, widowed early in life, seemed engaged in community preparations for the upcoming Durga Puja at the apartment complex she lived in. It was suddenly quite apparent to Jyoti  that she had to do her own thing and felt this tremendous need to get her own way and give herself a treat. At least, may be this one time in life.

Surfing the Net one evening, Jyoti grew more aware of possibilities and got this big idea. She looked up some travel sites and sent out mail to some asking them to organise a package tour for her. Her patience and determination paid off eventually.

 As soon as Rahul's school closed down for the holidays he left for the hills with his trekking team. Vikash left for Moscow soon after that. Both of them left with the promise that they were going to be back to spend the five days of Durga Puja together, which was just a week away. Jyoti smiled a mysterious smile but made no comments. The very next day, she picked up her tickets, packed her bags, locked up everything in the house and sent the cook and the two ayahs for a long break. She didn't take the car on purpose as she didn't want anybody to know where she was heading. Only Anjana knew but was asked to keep her mouth sealed about her whereabouts.

She took a taxi and boarded the train at the station all by herself. Something she hadn't done in years.

The train came to a halt with a jerk pulling Jyoti out of her reverie. They were barely out of the small station they had just crossed on the way. She looked at the elderly Punjabi lady across from her, occupying the lower berth of the AC- I compartment. Her son was still out of the cabin with his companion in the corridor.

"Oh, dear! I hope the train is not going to be late. I have a wedding to attend in Dehra Dun tomorrow. Does anything run on time these days?" The old lady was muttering to herself looking through Jyoti, as though she did not exist.

Jyoti looked concerned. It was not that she was in a hurry to reach Delhi. Delhi didn't hold any special charm for her anymore. She'd been to Delhi several times. But this time was different. She didn't want any hitches spoiling her plans.

" There is an accident up ahead. Some woman's body was found lying on the tracks outside the station we just crossed and there is a lot of agitation regarding that." The elderly lady's son stuck in his head to give his mother the bad news.

"Does that mean that we are going to be late?" The lady sounded irritated, least concerned about the dying body on the tracks. "I don't know, but I don't think so. They'll make it up at night. Rajhdhanis are seldom late." The head disappeared, as though the young man didn't want to wait for the questions soon to ensue.

The train didn't stop for too long, after all. It left iin about forty minutes and by then the two ladies had made friends and shared some of the snacks they were carrying.

"You must be going to Delhi for the fist time," the lady was curious. Jyoti shook her head and told her that their plan was to go to Delhi and move on to Rajasthan for a holiday. Her husband had promised to take her there many years ago but somehow it had never happened. She carefully didn't mention the fact that she was traveling all alone to her destination on her quest for obscurity.

"Are you going to Jaipur? " The lady grew curious.

"No. In fact, we are going to visit Bharatpur and check out the bird sanctuary there."

" That's interesting. Where are you going to stay?" " In a haveli- turned- hotel called the Chandra Mahal. I believe it belonged to the landed gentry in the feudal days of Rajasthan."

The lady was intrigued. "That must be very interesting."

"I believe so. I understand, peacocks dance around in the green lawns of the 'mahal' during the day." Jyoti smiled thinking of the pleasant sight and suddenly realised that she was parroting the words of the travel agent that sold the package to her.

 "It is really exclusive, Ma'am," the travel agent had said. "It's an experience to live in a place like that with its Old World charm. Since you are looking for a quiet place just to relax in, nothing could be better than that, Ma'am."

"But, we don't know anybody out there. What'll I do there all alone?" Jyoti realised that she sounded like an imbecile wanting to know if the place was safe for a single woman to visit and live in. After all, she was going for a retreat to be all by herself. She was embarrassed.

"You have nothing to fear, Ma'am. It is a very exclusive and well looked after place. Very, very safe and only decent people like you go there. Besides, we know the manager of the hotel very well. You have nothing to worry."

Somehow, Jyoti wanted it to be fine. She was more than reassured. It would be a welcome change she thought to herself and immediately decided to take the plunge. Perhaps she actually wanted to go to a godforsaken place just to disappear from the familiar scene where Vikash would never expect her to be. Actually, there was this secret burning desire that she wanted him to look for her when he came back from Russia to an empty house and wonder where she might be. It filled her with an immense sense of delight at the thought of him going crazy, missing her when she was nowhere to be traced.

The lady in the train was grinning at her still. "Mmm. Sounds interesting. Is this your honeymoon or anniversary? Where is your husband?" Now she was probing, Jyoti felt.
          "Oh, no." Jyoti blushed. "We have been married eighteen years and we got married in the month of August."

"Well, people get married at all ages these days. Sometimes, for the first time. Sometimes, for the second or third. One can't actually say." The lady's well-painted mouth went crooked with a cruel smirk.

Jyoti carefully avoided the second part of her earlier question as dinner came in. She thought they had chatted enough for the evening and it was time to call it a day. She took out a magazine and looked busy with it. The elderly lady quit making conversation with her when she realised that Jyoti found the article in the magazine more intriguing than their chitchat. Soon the lights were off and the train seemed to pick up speed.

A car was waiting for Jyoti at the New Delhi station, as promised by the travel agent. The guesthouse in Haus Khas was clean and comfortable. Jyoti realised that a night's rest there would give her the break she needed to embark on her historic journey the next day.

The morning tea gave Jyoti the boost she required and she suddenly felt that she was happy she had taken the decision to take a break on her own and was actually raring to go. She almost felt sorry for both Vikash and Rahul for not knowing what she was up to. However, it also gave her an unknown sense of power and freedom from an uncared for dedication at the altar of marriage for almost twenty years -- a kind of bonded labour women engaged in all over the world without being appreciated. She felt like Jonathan Livingstone, Seagull, and caught herself humming her favourite number on the way to Rajasthan in the Toyota Qualis arranged for her.

The Qualis took a sudden turn from the highway on the bend that led to a somewhat broad dirt road with a rough coating of tar to give it a civilized look. The road meandered between vast acres of farmland growing mustard and wheat.  The mud houses along the way housed farmers and among curious gazes from their womenfolk engaged in their daily chores Jyoti glided on her way to the 'haveli' getting a glimpse of Rajasthani rural life and the sylvan countryside.

The car stopped in front of an imposing gate with costumed doormen hurrying to help her out of the car. Jyoti had finally arrived at her place of retreat where no one could find her. She was not sure she knew what to expect next.

Inside the quaint structure of the century old haveli, they went through a large courtyard with stone pillars and carved doorways that led to rooms used for office work. The 'haveli' a mansion built by Muslim nobles in the 1850s reflects the glory of Mughal architecture Narrow passages with beautifully carved antique wooden furniture and marble tables placed along the wall took them to the interiors or the 'andar mahal' of the building. Colourful carpets ran through the entire length of the hallways that led to mysterious inner chambers meant to be living quarters for the boarders.

Suddenly there was an opening and a flurry of colours.  They fell into a manicured lawn where plants bearing fragrant flowers skirted the boundary walls under the canopy of the clear blue sky. Some uneven stone steps led them to the next level of the garden area which was, perhaps, more private. Soon they arrived at a section with a row of rooms, which seemed to have lower than usual, carved wooden doors and strange small windows with brass in-laid shutters. Heavy creepers cascaded down the pillars holding up the tiled roof that provided a certain amount of privacy like a green screen dividing each of the guestrooms sectioned out for living. Jyoti was mesmerized. She was glad to be there and almost unknowingly felt a tug at her heart for not being able to experience it all with her family, especially Vikash. She was sure she was going to love the quiet and peace around here and relish every moment of her stay.

"Are there many boarders here right now?" she asked the guy settling her things in the room.

"Not many. Just a few. At the moment, we have a few foreign travelers who have come to see the bird sanctuary and a few Indian families." The young man replied. "Would you be having your meal in your room or would you like to come to the dining room, Ma'am?"

"Mmm, I think I will eat at the dining room. Just give me a little time, ok?"

"Sure, Ma'am. If you need anything, you can reach the front desk by dialing 9."

Jyoti was glad to be alone in the cozy room. There was something very charming about the place and the decor. She loved the four poster antique bed and the traditionally upholstered couch and chairs in the room. The bathroom was tiled and spacious, just the way she liked it. When she came out of the room ready to go to the dining hall, she felt quite happy to be on her own, not needing to wait for others to decide things for her. 

The dining hall was adequately equipped with tables covered in old-fashioned damask and napkins folded in floral shapes. The cutlery too was heavy and old-fashioned singing of eras gone by. The walls displayed fading photographs of generations of the landed gentry that owned the 'haveli'. A couple of foreign visitors, dining in the room, looked up when she entered the hall and gave her a friendly smile. She smiled back, although a little embarrassed at appearing alone. She hurried through the Rajasthani meal she chose and was happy to be back in her room. Strangely enough, reminiscing of their honeymoon days, she fell asleep cocooned in the enveloping warmth of the soft Rajasthani quilt.

Jyoti woke up to the crowing of some strange birds outside her room. It was almost seven in the morning. She looked out of the low windows at the lawn and through the hazy screen of the morning mist found a couple of peacocks hanging around. It was an incredible sight, she thought. The morning sky was blurry blue. The greenery covering the ground and the high walls around the property, laden with ivy, looked inviting. Jyoti realised that the Qualis was coming to get her to take her sightseeing soon after breakfast.

The trip to the famous Keola Devi Bird Sanctuary was pleasant but exhausting. Jyoti learnt the names of many unseen birds and saw many migrant varieties crowding the green meadows. The guide also showed her a rare python soaking in the sun, almost camouflaged in its natural habitat. Birds of rare species vied with the ones that are pitifully going extinct like the Siberian Crane.

Jyoti was suddenly overcome with a sense of achievement for being able to see and enjoy it all on her own. She had forgotten what it was to live without too many 'ifs' and 'buts'. In her newfound freedom, playing truant, she realised she had discovered a new self for herself that could choose to do things without the usual props of status and social encumbrances of a mirthless existence. And yet, after daybreak when she was heading towards Chandra Mahal, the orange glow of the setting sun and curtain calls of the homing birds filled her with a tinge of guilt of not being able to share all this with the two very important men in her life.

"Ma'am, please keep this torch with you. There may be load-shedding in the evening," said the young man at the reception desk, handing her the key. Jyoti said a faint 'thank you' to the man with a smile and proceeded to the corridor that led to the courtyard. She realised that she was tired and perhaps she would ask for dinner in the room. The guide was going to take her to the Bharatpur King's Palace the next day for more treasures to be discovered. She was busy musing about the whole experience of the day and as she stepped into the courtyard, at the bend, she almost collided with a young woman in her mid-twenties coming from one of the office rooms wearing trendy, fashionable western clothing.

"I am so sorry. I didn't really see you," said a happy, well-modulated voice. The young woman laughed. "I am always bumping into people," she said.

"Oh, not to worry. I could hardly see much for myself. It gets pretty dark out here soon it seems." Jyoti sounded relieved to be able to communicate with a friendly soul in a far out place like this. She lit the torch that cast a faint stream of light that didn't lend much glory to the surroundings. They were moving in the same direction it seemed and quickly fell in step as they moved along the courtyard towards their respective guestrooms.

"Have you just arrived?" Jyoti was curious.

"Well, actually we are about to leave tomorrow. Wish we could stay a little longer, it's so beautiful out here." The young lady looked around." But my friend has work and has to be back home. Men are ever so busy these days. They have no time for vacations." The young woman's eyes smiled and in the low lights of the dying sun, Jyoti thought it was so good to be young and in love but wondered how long that would last.

The two women went down the uneven stone steps carefully where the tall trees housed the peacock family at night. Jyoti looked up. She could see the sky turning dark with the impatient moon slowly edging its way into the fading rays of the sun.

"Don't tell me you have found an old friend here as well," a male voice came from behind that stopped Jyoti on her track as she stepped into the lawn to cross over to her room. Very slowly she turned around. A man in his mid-forties ran down the steps impatiently to be with the young lady, like a bounding youngster. The faint light behind his silhouette made it difficult to see his face clearly. But the voice was too familiar to ignore.

 "Oh, c'mon. You are forever so jealous." The young woman laughed and almost tripped over a stone when the man grabbed her waist. They both broke into an intimate laugh. As the natural course of action to follow, he looked up to take a look at the stranger standing closeby. What he saw was not what he was expecting.

In the evening glow of the retreating sun their eyes met. Vikash stood there petrified, his left arm still guarding the young woman from her nervous fall with a frozen smile phasing out lazily from his face.


Dola Dutta Roy
Feb. 2014